The Big 12 as Pro Wrestlers

Just the other day, Charlie Hannema asked what Dan Beebe's pro wrestling entrance music would be. I quickly replied with Vince McMahon's "No Chance in Hell." Then it got me thinking: if Big 12 football programs were pro wrestlers, which ones would they be? I haven't watched pro wrestling in about 10 years, so my references may be a bit dated, and I'm okay with that. So, if the Big 12 were WWF/WWE....

Texas - The Rock/The Corporation

Texas has a bit of a "corporate" feel to it these days.

The beauty of comparing Texas to the Rock is that Texas fans can compare the Longhorns to the "good guy" Rock, the People's Champion. People who hate Texas can make the comparison to "bad guy" or "heel" Rock, when he sided with Vince McMahon and the Corporation. I have to say that, lately, Texas has been more like the latter. They do win, and sometimes seek an advantage by shady means like the Longhorn Network.

Oklahoma - Stone Cold Steve Austin
The beer-drinking country boy that always seems to be in the championship hunt. Always entertaining whether you like him or not.

Oklahoma State - D-Generation X
The underdogs trying to rock the boat. Plenty of talent, fun to watch, but will they ever win it all?

A&M probably thinks it can start
a "new world order" in the SEC.

Texas A&M - The Outsiders (Kevin Nash, Scott Hall)
The malcontents who abandoned the team and joined the other guys.

Texas Tech - Cactus Jack
Maybe not the most talented, but kinda quirky and likeable and has his moments.

Missouri - Chris Jericho
Competitive and occasionally in the championship hunt. His fans consider him among the elite, but not everyone agrees with that. Always good on the microphone, though, as if he were a product of Missouri's broadcasting program.

Baylor - Billy Gunn
You see the talent sometimes, but you're pretty sure he'll never be at the top.

Kansas, Kansas State and Iowa State - The J.O.B. Squad
The bottom feeders. Everyone else just piles up wins against these guys.


***Bonus: Non-Big 12 schools***

Nebraska - Bret "The Hitman" Hart
An all-time great that unfortunately left with a lot of bitter feelings.

Colorado - Goldust
Also left with some bitter feelings, but a lot less people noticed/cared.

Notre Dame - Sting
The really, really popular one that you wish would come on board, but you realize he probably never will. He's probably past his prime at this point anyway.