Wednesday, September 7, 2011

A look into the future: telling my kids about the Big 12

This is about what a Big 12 meeting looks like these days.
How crazy is this Big 12 mess right now? Teams are trying to leave. There are rumors of others threatening to sue to keep teams in unless another team promises to stay. After that team stays then leaves, maybe the other schools will sue them, too. It’s hard to keep track of. Right now it seems like all the Big 12 schools are at each others’ throats. I imagine a meeting of the Big 12 presidents that looks a lot like the final scene of Reservoir Dogs. It’s an explosive situation that could go horribly wrong at any moment.

Growing up, we all swear we won’t be one of those people who talk about “the good ol’ days.” We don’t want to be constantly telling stories with the mixed messages of how things were much tougher when we were young, yet somehow everything was much better.

Unfortunately, I totally see myself heading down that road. I don’t have kids of my own. Maybe I will someday, and if/when I do, I’m going to sit them down and tell them stories about when college sports were much more enjoyable, when rivalries and tradition mattered. Let’s fast forward 20 or 25 years down the road and listen in.



Future Joe: Kids, back in my day, college football was a lot better.

Son: Did it have a playoff?

Future Joe: (sigh) No. But it did have rivalries.

Son: College teams have rivalries? I thought that was just for high schools and pros, like with the Yankees and Red Sox.

Future Joe: College teams used to have rivalries, too.

Daughter: Why don’t they anymore?

Future Joe: Well, it’s because there are only three football conferences with 40 teams each, so it’s impossible to play everyone, which is why they keep rotating every season.

Daughter: So, who were the best rivals?

Future Joe: Well, Texas and Oklahoma used to be a great one. They used to play every season at the Texas State Fair. The Cotton Bowl was split with crimson on one side and burnt orange on the other. It was quite a sight and an amazing game day atmosphere.

Son: So, TCU and SMU didn’t always play at the Texas State Fair?

Future Joe: No. See, Texas and Oklahoma used to be in a conference called the Big 12. It was great league with those two, Nebraska, Texas A&M, Oklahoma State, Kansas, Missouri, and others. They had some great games in all sports. And they all had their fun rivalries that the fans looked forward to.

Daughter: You mean Texas used to be in a conference? Was Notre Dame in it, too?

Future Joe: No, Notre Dame was always independent. Texas decided to go independent in 2011 after the Big 12 collapsed and nobody wanted to deal with Texas and its Longhorn Network.

Daughter: Didn’t that go off the air last year?

Future Joe: Yeah, ESPN signed a 20-year deal, and Texas held them to it. The whole Longhorn Network thing made Texas a lot of money, though. That’s why Texas A&M went to the SEC and ended its rivalry with Texas, which was also a great one. It was pretty even believe it or not.

Son: You mean Texas A&M used to be good at football? They finish middle of the road or worse in the SEC every year!

Future Joe: Yeah, I know. They thought they could compete in the SEC. It hasn’t worked out on the field, but they made their money away from it by joining the SEC. A long time ago, though, they were very competitive. Unfortunately, A&M and Texas haven’t played since 2011. And neither have OU and Texas.

Son: So, was College Station a more happening town back then?

Future Joe: No. It was the same as it is now... Honey, quit playing with your iPhone 41 or I’ll take it away and make you use my old iPhone 33.

Daughter: Sorry, Dad. Hey, did you like your Marquette Atlantic 20 championship shirt I got you for your birthday?

Future Joe: Yes, it’s great, thank you. It’s nice that Marquette has been able to win a few A-20 titles, but I just wish they could have won a few Big East titles before they got kicked out.

Son: What’s the Big East and why did Marquette get kicked out?

Future Joe: Well, the Big East was another conference that had some great basketball rivalries with Georgetown, Syracuse, and Connecticut. The conference was okay in football. When the Big 12 folded, the Big East took in Kansas, Kansas State, and Missouri and kicked out some schools that didn’t play football. Marquette then had to go join what was then known as the Atlantic 10. The Big East folded a few years later when half the teams went to the SEC and the rest went to the Big Ten.

Daughter: So, did the Big Ten ever only have ten teams instead of 40? That logo where the 10 fades back and forth to a 40 is weird.

Future Joe: Yes, a long time ago, the Big Ten had exactly ten teams, and the Pac-40 used to be the Pac-8. And there were also leagues called the Atlantic Coast Conference, Mountain West, and Conference USA and some others. They all folded when all football schools except Notre Dame and Texas joined the SEC, Big Ten, or Pac-40.

Son: So, with all those conferences, what was harder to decide: the BCS title or the Television Revenue Title?

Future Joe: You know what, that’s enough for today. You kids go teleport to your friends’ houses. I want to watch a little of the Pac-40 opener between Oklahoma and New Mexico.

3 comments:

  1. this is great Joe, man I hope this isn't the future, but it sure seems to be headed that way.

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  2. This is absolutely hilarious. What's sad....is that part of it will likely be true. You are a fantastic writer too. Excellent conversation that is so close to true form, meanwhile inserting sports history along the way. Kudos.

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  3. Thanks for reading! It was kinda fun doing a "How I Met Your Mother"-inspired football post.

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